needs to be written down somewhere (and as i'm on the computer, may as well put it up here). maybe i'm the only one that can understand it at the moment, i don't know. but sometimes, when you move, move on, move away, move out, move in, move closer, it can be what drags you down then and it becomes the centre of your problems for a while and you always think about it, every little thing triggers memories of it and then other things happen and before you know it, you've forgotten about it and moved on. and then, after a bit of that thing called time has passed, you look back on it sometimes and smile at everything, the good and the bad, no matter how bad it was. because for you, its easy to laugh at the past, no matter how much you miss it. and then, then a piece of it is back with you. just a piece. but that piece is enough to trigger all those silly little memories that you thought had been safely tucked away, so safely that you hardly remembered them anymore, they had become vague and dusty. and then that little piece remains there, for who knows how long, because its still here and its changed but in a good way, so that it's still the same as what you've always known it to be. and you still sit here, staring at the trail that piece has left, sifting through it over and over until you find what you are looking for and wondering what things could have been like if it never moved and somehow knowing that its better the way it is now that what it could have been later on.

*i know this sounds a lot like a relationship/breaking up/moving on and all that but its not, it could be, but its not, not in this case anyway.*

fuck, you probably think i'm really weird, but i don't care.